Small Doses Page 11

  Around 2007 I started recording music and eventually found myself performing with The Roots, opening for Lupe Fiasco, touring as a member of Floetry (that’s a whole other book, chile), and doing my own solo shows overseas. I released four independent projects, shot videos, did mixtapes, the whole nine! I am a music buff and had spent the early portion of my career as an MTV2 VJ and writer for The Source, XXL, and more. So, at first, it was incredibly exciting to be able to make my own music and share it with people. Until I realized I was making all this music and I wasn’t making no money! That’s when I began to consider the business of music more, and it turned out that I hated it. It felt like the music was the least important aspect of the package. Folks were more interested in who managed me, who I worked with, what my story was, what my “look” was, etc. They told me, “You can’t sing and rap. You have to choose because no one is buying that, and no one is playing that.” It was incredibly disconcerting. Essentially, I was being told what so many creatives trying to make a career out of their art are told: “That thing that’s coming from your soul is not marketable,” aka nobody wants it. So, we can’t sell it. What originally had been a passion realized turned into a futile exercise in trying to create art that simultaneously gave me fulfillment and also fit within the invisible lines of the mainstream. Attempting to do something innovative and unique was met with such opposition by non-creative folks before they even heard my music.

  It was legit odd to them that I would want to forge something from fire, versus pull it off the shelf. I had a music legend once ask me, “Why don’t you just make a basic song that people don’t have to think about, and buy your mom a house?” My mom would tell me, “I don’t think you like money because you’re really not trying to make it.” LOL. It wasn’t that, it was just that as a creative I was moving to the beat of a different MPC2500. Yet, if I was going to stick with this path, I needed to figure out how to sustain myself. That quest led me to eventually dislike music. Unreal! How is that possible!? It happened, honey. I was just OVER. IT. I always say, the measure of when to walk away is when a challenge becomes a stress. A challenge is when something is difficult and outside of your comfort zone, but ultimately rewarding. A stress is when what you’re giving to the goal outweighs what you’re receiving, and your efforts have moved beyond practical to Pyrrhic. That can be applied to literally anything in your life. In this case, the constant frustration of being unable to reconcile my art with commerce reached a point where I realized it was draining me more than it was teaching me. That was my cue to Neh Neh away from the music biz. It was not the right fit for my artistry.

  In hindsight, I didn’t fully grasp the totality of what it means to create for commerce. This was a lesson of my hustle. I had to eventually come to grips with the fact that no matter what artistic medium I was pursuing, I’d have to meet the market halfway. The key was to figure out what medium that was. Because you cannot let the “weirdness” be a barrier to your purpose. There’s wanting to retain your artistic integrity and there’s simply not being willing to use your creativity to deal with the business side of things that feels so restraining. If you know you need to catch a vibe to get the work done, figure out exactly what that takes so you can call on it when needed. If you know that you have a tendency to procrastinate as part of your process, don’t accept deadlines that you can’t meet, which in turn sends a message of unreliability. If you know that you don’t like taking notes from others, sheittt, you may have to just keep your art as a hobby. Nah, forreal though, notes are a part of the patronage. As my mother always says, “You take their money, you take their shit.” You just know that the further you go, the more trusted you become, the less notes you have to take. Nevertheless, all these things are considered “weird” attributes by folks who are perfectly fine with getting annual reviews, consider deadlines de facto, and don’t have the luxury to procrastinate. I see it so many times, where my fellow creatives let their artsy “weird” shit keep them from advancing. You must find the conduit that instead of creating a clash allows your “weird” art shit to be your method. If he was just a hustla on a Harlem block, Cam’ron would’ve been looked at crazy for rockin’ all that pink and even adding a cape. However, as an MC he carved his own lane, stuck to his brand, never wavered from his “weird” art shit, and now, basically everything Cam does, including getting computers ’putin’, is uptown iconic and meme worthy.

  It’s not to say we artists are illogical, or irrational, but when you are a creative you do just that, you create. To create is to make something from nothing and give it life. In order to do that, to even believe that you can do that, then to have the nerve to think it will be something of worth, requires you to think outside of the grid of limitation, aka you gotta get on some otha shit! For creatives, colors can be alive, objects can be fashioned, music can be made, and characters roused. We walk on a wavelength that is more defined by our hearts than our minds. We consider emotion a tool rather than a hindrance. We can be laser-sharp focused and be disrupted by something seemingly as nebulous as “a vibe.” In the spectrum of what is considered normal, artists, simply put, are frickin’ weirdos and for centuries have managed to get out of their own way and use that “weirdness” to change the world. So can you.

  SIDE EFFECTS OF

  The Come Up

  On the rise we move on a mission

  And size up competition

  But remember, what’s for you is for you;

  Actualize your vision.

  EGO

  On the road to the come up one of your biggest obstacles is yourself. Is your ego bigger than your resume? KEEP IT IN CHECK.

  DO

  Spend more time listening and asking questions than talking and waxing poetic. Utilize the already formed blueprints of others to create one that’s uniquely yours.

  DON’T

  Don’t be a dick. You may think that’s easy but especially when someone is being one to you, it can be very difficult not to devolve into their wackness. Do not let their petty moment disrupt your grand vision.

  SELF-WORTH AND MARKET VALUE

  Don’t confuse worth with entitlement. Just because you may know your abilities and what you can bring to the table does not mean you have the credentials to sit at the table—yet. Know your self-worth and your market value. When you are clear on the two it allows you to clearly see not only what steps you need to take to pursue your goal and activate a plan, but also if you are truly able to do so.

  SECRET to SUCCESS

  There is no secret to success. You’re either working hard or you’re sleeping with somebody that’s working hard. Dassit.

  NETWORKING

  Some key phrases that I can’t stand:

  • No one worth your time says, “Let’s network.” What that reads as is, “Let me get connected to your network.”

  • “We can do business together.” If my business is worth more than yours then what you really mean is, “Let me use your money to make my money.”

  • This one is used by various people, nonetheless, I despise when people ask, “Can I pick your brain?” No! You can’t touch my hair and you can’t tap into my neural net. Sure, there are questions to ask and things to learn, but the statement reads as, “Can you give me your valued insight and opinion for free?”

  No dice.

  AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO NETWORK

  I called Queen Latifah once, and after giving her an earful of why I wanted to connect with her she kept it all the way 100 with me and said that most people with financial resources don’t have a lot of time. Therefore, if you’re asking them for assistance you need to be able to do so in thirty seconds and cover:

  • What you are doing: Be able to communicate in a succinct fashion what project you’re approaching them about.

  • Why you need help: Be able to relay in a concise nature why you are in need of assistance to advance the project.

  • How they can help: Be able to delineate in a clear manner how they specifica
lly can be of aid in the project’s advancement.

  SLAVE MENTALITY

  The slave mentality will have you working harder for other people than you do for yourself. You know that level of detail, attention, and excellence that you would put into doing some work for somebody else? Make sure you apply that when you’re doing work for yourself.

  ADVICE IN ACTION

  People are way more willing to give you advice than assistance, but if you’re a self-motivated person, advice really is assistance because you take that advice and put it into action. So often I get questions from people who haven’t made a move yet. They haven’t lifted a finger, but they want advice on how to do something, and they don’t understand why I’m hesitant to give it to them. I’m hesitant because if I’m going to take my time to put you onto something, I want to know that it’s going to lead to action. When you are taking real, concrete steps and people see you doing it they are way more inclined to offer assistance. Which is better for you! The best way to show someone that you’re an action-oriented person is by approaching them after you’ve already put things in motion. So that if they do take the time to give you advice, they know you’ve already got something beyond just an idea to apply it to.

  STONES

  People will give you stones to hop on. Look for the stones to get to your goal and hopefully fulfill a dream. Focus on the next stone, don’t get overwhelmed by the ones you don’t see yet in the distance.

  LOOK BACK AND STEP UP

  As you ascend, remember that once upon a time you were looking up for a hand to help you reach the next stepping stone. Be that hand to someone else. ESPECIALLY if you are from a marginalized community. If you are the person reaching out your hand, STEP UP. Too often folks work so hard to get opportunities only to fall short once they’re in the position to move up. Charisma gets you in the room, character keeps you there.

  GIG PYRAMID

  Someone once told me that there are three sides to a job, and it was the best advice I’ve ever been given.

  1. The money

  Dolla dolla dolla dolla dolla billz y’all.

  What are you taking home to the bank?

  2. The people

  Issa family affair.

  Who will you be alongside for this ride?

  3. The content

  What it is, hoe?

  Wassup? What are the goods you’ll be working with?

  The key is that in order to take/keep the gig, at least two of these have to line up. If not, you’re more than likely going to feel like you wasted your time, and don’t nobody got time for that!

  PEOPLE-PLEASING

  If you’re the kind of creative I am, you’re a bit awkward when dealing with people, especially as it relates to business, especially in the corporate space. It’s a bitch, and to be honest, they say artists are sensitive, but corporate folks have one-ply skin. Below are some tips on managing the folks who are managing you that I’ve learned the hard way:

  • Start emails with a salutation. “I hope all is well,” “Happy Monday,” “Good Morning,” etc. People like it.

  • In a general meeting, find a common interest and make the meeting about that. Business is boring. Bring entertainment to their day. Talk about anything but business and make the meeting feel like recess. They’ll not only thank you, they’ll remember you.

  • Keep relationships. You don’t have to be a creep, but check in and invite folks out to your events. If you had a genuine connection with someone, they will not think it’s odd that you want to follow up down the road with a dinner or lunch to check in.

  • It’s not just about who you know. It’s also about who knows your skills. Sure, you can be the life of the party, but if no one knows what you actually do they won’t keep you in mind. I’m not saying walk around announcing your name and profession like, “Hi, I’m Amanda, comedian slash common sense specialist!” But I am saying in any field a smidge of narcissism is necessary, and finding a chill way to make folks aware of what you’re doing and what you want to do ain’t never hurt nobody.

  • Sometimes the revolution just ain’t for that day. Get the job. Then, sit by the door. Get in the door, and fight from within. Other times leave that job right there. It’s gonna kill ya or get you incarcerated!

  • Thank people. Always. Thank everyone! I don’t care how big you become, thank folks, say excuse me, and let people know you appreciate them.

  • People are going to say whatever they want to say about you, so give them very little to go on other than the integrity of your work.

  • You aren’t going to like every person you work for. You aren’t going to like how every person works. It’s not forever and it doesn’t mean a bridge has to be burned. This road is long and twisting. You never know where it will lead you and who will be there when you get to where you’re going. So, if you’re unhappy with a work situation, always look for a way to move on that allows you to still hollaback!

  IT MAY TAKE ME LONGER TO GET TO THE TOP

  BECAUSE I’M CARRYING MY INTEGRITY WITH ME.

  GEM DROPPIN’

  Fame vs. Prestige

  SOME PEOPLE JUST WANT TO BE KNOWN. For whatever reason, they have placed value on random people knowing who they are. Maybe they’re from a small town where they felt stifled and unnoticed. Maybe they’re an extrovert and really just like hugs, shaking hands, and kissing babies. Maybe they were a nerd and think being famous means you’ve gone from Steve Urkel to Stephan Urkél and now that you’re accepted, Laura will finally love you. Thanks (or nah) to social media, we live in a world where everyone has the opportunity to be known. People crave likes and followers so badly they will pay money for them. Kids are committing suicide based on the pain of going viral for the wrong thing. I’ve had a dude holler at me, go to find me on Instagram, and then have his whole demeanor change once he saw my follower count. Folks are making hundreds of thousands of dollars not as traditional celebrities known for their work in the arts but as celebrities in the digital space where they can be known for any number of reasons. That said, being known has become a currency in a very quantifiable way and folks want in. But as always, there are levels to this shit. Being known is not just about people knowing you, it’s about why they know you, which leads to: Do you just want fame or do you also aspire to prestige?

  Fame is fleeting because it’s often not really rooted in anything. It is the most basic level of being known. There are varying degrees of it, but it simply means people know who you are, for whatever reason. You’re out in the world and they’re like, “Hey, you’re so and so” or “Hey, you’re that guy!” or “Hey, did you go to Piedmont? No, wait, aren’t you on that one show?!” It can be a by-product of hard work, but these days it’s very often a byproduct of just being “out here.” Think about it: At this point it doesn’t even take much to be famous. Fifteen minutes are being stretched to months and even years by folks with a mediocre booty that’s constantly in Lululemon pants, or just being kind of crazy and willing to do some stunts involving cinnamon or sitting in a bathtub of milk and cereal, or simply just being stupid or racist, in which case they’re more infamous than famous. Popularity is nothing new. High school was a doozy! For a lot of us, how many people liked you determined how much you liked yourself. Which is actually WILD and should absolutely not be the case. So, at a certain point, many of us grew up and had to check that. I mean, my IG profile literally says, “I’m not 4 everyone.” Nonetheless, I feel like we’re checking it even less these days because fame and popularity have become an actual goal for people in their daily lives. How many likes did you get? Did you use the hashtag? You should have used the hashtag. When you step back and look at the big picture, fame is hella empty and may get you some free ’fits and a couple of dollaz but if you want more you have to do more.

  Prestige, in contrast, is about not just being known, but being revered for what you’re known for. It is not just about you being known, but your work being well regarded. For some this may
not matter. You just want people to know your name. With fame you’re simply riding on the surface of acknowledgment, and that doesn’t really last. Like a ten-second twerk vid on Snapchat, it’s potent but ethereal. Again, anybody can be famous. Anybody can do something to get people’s attention, but can you keep people’s attention? Can you affect them? Can you influence them? That is how you gain prestige. Excellence and quality are the cornerstones of attaining this status, and too often they have become irrelevant or striving toward them is misconstrued as elitist. The fact is we need folks to be shooting for that goal. Especially in the America that’s swirling around me as I write this book. We are in an age of misinformation and alternative facts that seek to keep the masses numb and the real ones mum. In this kind of environment, the encouragement to think bigger, work harder, and go beyond gets trampled beneath a quest for mediocrity. The outliers and overachievers cannot let that happen. They cannot let ignorance and complacency win. They continue to create with a trajectory toward prestigious achievement because they know that it is a signifier of being outside the box and pushing the world forward. We’re all here together so we should all be trying to add something of tangible respectability that aims at making this a better place.

  I feel like when people are just reaching for fame, what they’re doing is creating a void. They’re adding an element of nothingness to a world that needs much more realness in it. And eventually if we don’t pay attention, the people with the highest influence are going to be the people with the least substance. You might have prestige without fame but you still have something of great value, because with prestige comes legacy. Then you have something that is actually tangible.